Wardrobe Analogy

At the start of therapy, it is akin to opening a wardrobe that has remained closed for an extended period. From an external perspective, everything may appear orderly; the doors are shut, and nothing seems out of place. However, internally, the wardrobe is often overcrowded, disorganised, and filled with items that have been hastily shoved in over the years.

Starting the therapeutic process does not result in an immediate 'fix' of the wardrobe. Instead, it involves removing everything from inside.

This is a step that clients often do not anticipate.

All of a sudden, the space may seem worse than before, with clothes and items scattered, some forgotten, others that no longer fit, and many that carry emotional significance - be it memories, shame, grief, or confusion. It can feel overwhelming, disorderly, and chaotic. Clients frequently wonder, “Wasn't I better before therapy?  Why does everything seem more difficult now?”

The reality, however, is that:

·       You are gaining clarity for the first time

·       You are addressing issues that had previously been avoided or suppressed

·       You are making conscious choices rather than automatic reactions

Following this, the work deepens:

·       Determining what to retain (valued qualities, strengths, meaningful aspects of oneself)

·       Letting go of what no longer serves (outdated beliefs, coping mechanisms, internal voices)

·       Repairing or reinterpreting certain items instead of discarding them

·       Organising the contents in a way that is functional and sustainable

Eventually, the wardrobe is reconstructed, but in a different manner:

·       There is greater space

·       There is intentional organisation

·       There is an increased awareness of what resides inside

Most importantly, the individual now possesses the skills to maintain it.

A key aspect of this analogy is to normalise the idea that it often becomes messier before it becomes clearer—not because therapy is detrimental, but because it involves replacing avoidance behaviours with insight and awareness.